Feeling so restless, always things happens.. A lot of ppl advise me to get a better life.. Coz there's no better future with my life now.. Its seems to be very easy saying.. I cannot do wad they say.. It's not me who don wanna do it.. Its the heart that say no.. But I can't change whatever it is now.. Despite ultra attempts.. Mayb that's mr being selfish.. But why don change to a life with better environment?? I seriously don't understand!! Coz from wad I know.. Everyone wants to climb higher and higher.. Nobody will wanna stay put in those kinda life.. The kinda life now cannot see any future.. Haiz.. No matter how much I say.. It's no use.. I really dunno wad to do.. All I can do is to accept others saying and keep to myself.. All I wanted is wishes from others.. Not those kinda advise that I always get... Hate it when ppl ask me abt these.. Not that I don't wanna say.. But whenever I tell ppl, I sure receive those kinda comments.. I know u don care abt wad ppl say.. Coz ur not the one facing it.. Can u at least understand how I feel? Haiz.. I can change myself easily.. How can I change others ard me? Not the person, but their Mentality..

Whenever I'm down.. There's this fren.. Always worry abt me and console me when I need one.. Thank you Mdm Lim (Shirley Lim) appreciate it a lot.. Ur words really help me think better.. But those lost confidence is really hard to regain.. Haiz..


There's these motivation and quote and from her religious teaching which I believe it is so true..

"The tongue can bring death or life; make sure the words you are sending out are in the direction you want your life to go."

"Take the most difficult challenge you are now facing and turn it into the greatest opportunity to grow simply by changing how you see it. Dead ends then become turning points."

Trying to pull my mindset into the right track..

Its going 5 months! i jus love you! keke.. no matter what.. i jus wanna be with you.. muacks! xP

Back aching lor.. Feel so sleepy these few days..

Sometimes really don feel good when comes to things you say.. It hurts much..

Am I that hard to understand? Or Issit I really that difficult to please or handle? Mayb I'm not good enuff.. Or I jus being demanding?

Haiz.. Ur jus too impt that I don wan to hurt ur feelings.. I rather keep to myself..

Mayb this is the way to maintain everything ba.. I don wan any changes for the time being.. I jus selfishly wan you with me now.. );

It's another month end closing.. Damn! Always gotta stay till 8.30pm every month end.. Whether I got things to do or not.. Waste of time.. Jus sit there do nth.. >.<

Rather go out lor.. Zzz.. Friday Somemore.. Haiz..

So want the stage tee lah.. Sob sob.. But pok gai Liao lor.. Haiz..

Shld I jus buy? );

Recently jus spend too much.. Mud control Liao lah.. Need to save up for my Australia trip in June!

But sort of realise that.. June is dad's bdae Lei.. He don go with us.. Then he spend bdae alone?? Wahh.. So bad lor.. >.< dunno wads the plan.. Not confirm tho.. Well see how..

Won't get to see my love till sun Liao I guess.. Miss him lor.. );

That's all.. wanna take a nap lei.. Tsk..

Annyeon! 😘

Oh my! It's been real long.. And so many things happened.. Whether its happy or sad.. But I've went thru it.. With the support from my beloved family and friends.. Can say to be lucky of me..

Ah ma passed on during August 2011..
So many things to do before and after..

Fall sick for the whole month.. Torturing.. Been thru all theses alone.. );

Finally met someone that I wanna be with.. Tho he's not the type I always wanted.. He cares for me alot.. Tho he won't be able to be there always when I need him.. But at least he tried to.. I appreciate the effort he put in..
But if we were to be Tgt.. It's not only abt me.. It's abt both our family.. He can don be a perfect bf to me.. But he has to be a perfect bf from my mum's point of view.. Haiz.. At times.. It's really hard on me when mum tell me smth abt him that she don think is good enuff.. I dunno what am I suppose to do.. I don wanna make him do things that he don used to do.. At the same time.. I wan mum to accept him as he is.. From a mother point of view.. I'm glad my mum thinks for me... I really lost at this step tho..

I always luff doesn't mean I'm really happy.. Coz I don wan to affect people's mood..

Who can really understand me?

I'm happy to have you.. I really do.. But there's such stress in between that I cant get rid of..

😢😢😢